It’s not about the furniture. It is never about the furniture.

Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let… lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.

When I left the States, under admittedly semi-false pretenses, I left behind a beautiful house full of beautiful things. And for what? Who would leave such a fabulous California King mattress, the perfect sofa set, the most stylish, though unused (aha! a hint!!) dining room, a kitchen full of All-clad, Le Cruset and Fiesta Ware?

Well, I guess I would.

I was listening to someone freak out the other day about the furnishings (or lack thereof) in his apartment. He was concerned, convinced even, that this was going to be the single biggest catastrophe he could imagine. People were going to be let down. I mean, no place to sit! Imagine! People were going to be unsettled! No place to recline! Say it isn’t so! And most distressing, this was going to be a major problem for his lady. He had to get the furniture before she came, because… well because.

I wanted to say, “Look, the furniture doesn’t matter…” In fact, I may have said such a thing. But what I really meant to say was that it is never about the furniture. It never has been about the furniture and is it never going to be about the furniture. But I couldn’t say that because I knew what was going on, at one point I too, “like so many others… had become a slave to the Ikea nesting instinct.”

But we all have to learn about the furniture in our own time.

Back when I was in a fully-furnished world I started to see that every time I expressed discontent more furniture appeared. It is a good thing I am so good at Tetris, because otherwise we never would have got all that shit in the house. And as I eventually took the blame for all the furniture misappropriations, I suppose there is no harm in saying that in hindsight, it sort of was my fault. It went something like this:

“Umm… I am not sure I want to stay in this town…”
New bookshelves.

“So, I think that maybe there is more to look forward to than retiring from the XX School District…”
New bed.

“I was wondering if maybe we could not do xxxxxxball for a minute and take a vacation…”
New dining room table.

“I can’t take this anymore…”
New home entertainment center.

“Really, I have to go…”
-But we have all this furniture-

I finally understood what it meant, really what it meant when people said that ‘the lights are on but no one is home.’ And Ikea sells really nice lights. Cheap.

Not so long ago I was considering inviting a certain individual to my home. I looked around and suddenly everything seemed… too little, too shabby, to old, and I panicked: “Oh my god! I have to get some new furniture!” So I started writing out a list of all the things I was going to need. I was building up another furniture barricade. I stopped and made a phone call instead: “You know, I don’t think this is going to work out. I am only ready to deal with people who do not require re-furnishing.”

Not too long after I left my fully-furnished yet strangely empty life in 2005, I got the following accusation via post:

“But I furnished your house! I got you everything you wanted!”

“Um, well, no. There was one thing…”


About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Friends, Life, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to It’s not about the furniture. It is never about the furniture.

  1. Pingback: Landings and Take Offs | No, THIS is how you do it…

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