How many times…

… have you come into the holiday season with all sorts of goals – for yourself and others – and then… WOWSA! Here it is. Well, here it is, with all its wonder, its headaches, its smiles, its expectations, its disappointments and in the end… its predictable hopefulness.

This year I saw a different side of Christmas. In truth, I sort of did not see the first bit as I celebrated a bit more than I anticipated… but when I opened my eyes a bit more I did see another view of the holiday. Not surrounded by decorations, family members, presents, a “boy”friend, tons of traditional food to be force fed….

…I saw balmy weather. And it was lovely.
…I saw how my friends and family make Christmas work even when it is not like it is maybe supposed to be in the movies: a last minute flight to surprise family in Paris, mystical bureaucratic accomplishments like an emergency passport that wasn’t supposed to come through but did, pet sitting, the best FauXmas party ever, Mexican food for Boxing Day for a Californian who does miss her home, the effects of Christmas on those who seemed to be above being affected. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.
…I saw family when I didn’t expect to and didn’t see friends when I did.
…I saw Love Actually

And it was really nice. And not just like “It’s a… self-preservation thing, you see…” but in a really genuinely quiet and lovely way.

I had a chance to really spend some time with my thoughts and step back for a moment from the madness, the lovely madness, but madness none the less, that life can be. When I told two of my dearest friends that this Christmas would be such a special one for them as the first that they would share with their new family order, they said to me that this would be a very monumental Christmas for me too. Setting up expectations? Maybe… but perhaps expectations can be described as self-fulfilling prophecies, at least at this time of the year. To take the apparently mundane and to look at it as a new way to spend Christmas and a new perspective on what the holidays may be just what the doctor ordered.

But for now, let me say – Without hope or agenda – Just because it’s Christmas – And at Christmas you tell the truth – To me, you are perfect –


[And how many times can you actually watch Love Actually?]

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About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Family, Friends, Holidays and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to How many times…

  1. Will says:

    Well acutally I have watched it five times over the years.

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