The Best Laid Plans….

Sitting here in Limbo.
Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,
So many things I’ve got to learn.
Meanwhile, they’re putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

Recently I did something completely out of character… I acted on a whim and decided to do something totally outrageous. The details of the experiment are hardly worth going into here – actually it is a crazy story, but I am not going to share it… maybe someday. Anyhow, as may be evident – not one single part of the plan actually materialized. Not ONE. [Well, except for the part where I flew from Hong Kong to San Francisco for the weekend. Yes, 25 hours of air time for three days in California.] Bearing in mind that I am a meticulous planner and also very diligent when I need to be, that nothing came to fruition is a somewhat astounding fact. And I think that the situation would have devastated a different version of myself… Instead, I am sitting here in limbo, waiting for the tide turn.

Sitting here in Limbo
Waiting for the dice to roll.
Yeah, now, sitting here in Limbo,
Still got some time to search my soul.
Meanwhile, they’re putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.

I do not feel bad, exactly. A little mystified, but at the same time, somehow I feel totally free. Or maybe I am justifying complete irresponsibility. That is a possibility. I am thinking about old friends and old patterns and old behaviors and new friends and new patterns and new behaviors and how always the many shall come together. It is Easter Sunday in San Francisco, which may truly be the most beautiful city on the planet. I am mesmerized by the blue skies, the clean air, the peaceful quite that can exist in a city – all things I have forgotten immersed in the crazy frenzy of Asian cities. I cannot be here and not think of how my life was when I was here last and realize how much I have changed… but the City is still so magical. I have a lot to think about and I believe that big things are coming- as Ted said so prophetically back in 1989: “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.”

I don’t know where life will take me,
But I know where I have been.
I don’t know what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
Tried my hand at love and friendship,
That is past and gone.
And now it’s time to move along.

I feel something very unusual for someone very unusual and I am not going to make predictions about what that means and I am definitely going to try to remove expectations. I don’t know where life will take me, but now that I have a clearer view on where I have been, I feel more prepared to move along. I am ready – plans or not because the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

Sitting here in Limbo
Like a bird ain’t got a song.
Yeah, I’m sitting here in Limbo
And I know it won’t be long
‘Til I make my getaway, now.
Meanwhile, they’re putting up a resistance,
But I know that my faith will lead me on.


About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Home, Life, Travel and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Best Laid Plans….

  1. Mara Nowak says:

    You know Amy, sometimes you just have to roll with the waves…

  2. Kim Sullivan says:

    Amy, I was so lucky to see Jimmy at the M.U. in Davis in 1988…. I think he would be honored to be included in this post. I love you for who you were then, who you were last week, and for who I know you are now…… Dammit, I just love you….:)

  3. Amanda says:

    One consistency in my life has always been people like you guys.
    Big ❤ to you both.

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