Why ask why?

I recently came across this blog and I love it. And I would like someone to write an analogous one for my situation, something along the lines of why there are no guys [who date Western girls] in Hong Kong. Of course I am not going to write it, because if I did it would provide ammunition for people to call me bitter – among other things.

Two of the posts that really resonated with this tall girl who has a history of attraction to the pseudo-alpha male (recently replaced by the pseudo-pseudo-alpha male, in other words the one pretending he is not pretending to be all that…) are The Absence of Bullsh*t Artists and Heightism.

The description of the Bullshit Artist is painfully familiar. I definitely know this guy, I have probably dated him and if I didn’t, I wanted to. Like, for example, take a guy who moans that people call him a hispter, goes out of his way to be so Indie-oriented that he just makes eclectic look like bad plaid, wears ringer Ts and, well, IS a hipster. He  loves mad pontification and of course, irony. He totally plays up his intellect, but hides behind a pretense of… actually I am not sure what it was – and yeah, this is a real example (of course… you KNOW who you are.) Yeah, he had me early on. I should have read the article and saved myself a lot of dramz:

Bullsh*t artists comprise about 20% of the male population and in a way keep monogamous societies functioning. Girls prefer the authentic alpha male, but that’s about 5% of guys, so there’s this huge space of unsatisfied female desire. Regular guys deal with this through drug abuse, religion, and sometimes self-improvement, but the bullsh*t artist isn’t a sucker for second place. He buys a Harley, frosts his hair and adopts a swagger he saw on a VH1 reality show. He says he’s a club promoter or speaks surfer pidgin. He digs through pop culture bromides of “coolness” like he’s Carrot Top with a trunk in Vegas, pulling out whatever artifice – aesthetic, linguistic,  professional – that might provide a passable illusion.

Spot-fucking-on. It is the “Hey Guy” all over again.

Then there comes in the issue of ‘heightism.’ Now, I am going to step up to the plate and admit I am heightist, and then immediately qualify that statement by explaining that I am 5’10” and I love high heels. So, really, shortness is tough for me. But I am starting to wonder how rigidly I need to adhere to this. And what it all represents in the bigger picture. Consider this:

Imagine asking a non-socialized third party, a Martian say, to scrutinize our modern, information-based economic order and identify which trait is more highly prized by humans, height or brain power. The alien would choose brain power every time, right? Of course, because that alien would be a short, self conscious Jupiter-head and totally compensating.

I am going to have to agree. And then wonder.

But more to the point is something that I always used to refer to as the seasonality of boyfriends. In high school I dated (umm… the term being loosely used here because I am still unclear as to what dating is really all about – in Petaluma, we hung out, exercised bad judgment and called it a night) a guy on the soccer team when I was a junior and he was a sophomore. He was on the varsity team and he was a total stud. Until you took him out of his element, at which point serious issues would arise. Like, I would ask him to “Please not talk, or whatever.” Seriously. And when soccer season was over? Yeah, done. Then it was basketball season, so I dated a guy on the varsity basketball team, who was not really very bright or particularly good looking, but he could shoot the long ball like an All-American. He was good to go until baseball season. (Here, I must admit that baseball players, for some reason, seem to have the most potential for year-round appeal, don’t know why, but it seemed to be the case.) Anyhow, you get my point (and my questionable morals/judgment.) Back to the blog of the day:

Male attractiveness doesn’t exist in the abstract – it’s a fluid thing that depends on your environment. You can be pretty average in life, for example, but if you develop one situationally specific skill, like being a black-belt in karate, and publicize it, by say teaching a co-ed karate class, then you’re suddenly a bonafide bad-ass, at least behind the doors of the dojo.

The article goes on to say that:

In other words, all that a guy needs to be desirable is a one socially relevant talent. You can be poor if you’re brawny, you can be weak if you’re brainy, you can be boring if you’re beautiful, you can be bald if you’re a black-belt, so long as you have some forum to show off your excellence. But the one thing you can’t be is short. There’s no redeeming talent for that.

A basketball coach I used to know always said, “Hell, you can’t coach 6’10” – keep him if he’s got it regardless of the liabilities elsewhere.” So, maybe it is true. I don’t really know and my empirical evidence is not nearly broad enough to consider conclusive (impressive maybe, but not conclusive) so for now, I think it is wise to simply consider the points raised by WTANGISF and look at them from both sides of the table.

It could prove to be totally mutually beneficial.

And perhaps get me off my Richie McCaw addiction, as I have a feeling he meets all of the above prescribed elements for disaster.


About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Hong Kong, Life, Relationships, Things I Wish I Would Have Thought Of and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Why ask why?

  1. Jessica says:

    I’m never showing that article to my husband. He’s 5’9….I’m 5’10..

    I tell him he’s not short by social standards… I’m just tall. That doesn’t usually fly with him, though…

  2. Anna Es Muy says:

    I married one of those rare authentic alpha males. They are too hairy and they never use napkins…napkins are for sissies. They’re good in bed and they win at things alot. They expect you to keep up your looks and youthful vigor well past your Preparation H years. That, I think, is a good thing.

    Beware of the hipster dudes that wear rings on their thumbs. I don’t know why, but the rings on the thumbs scare me, which is odd because I am a terminal hipster AND an alpha female, so I really shouldn’t be effected or afraid of almost anything….

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