How you know you have made the right choice.

On making a decision, big or little, I often find that once I have made it, a slew of evidence that I may have been premature/misguided/idiotic in my decision-making crops up. This morning I was wondering if this happens to anyone else. Consider the following:

  • Exhibit A: You make an appointment to get your hair cut. Your hair looks like shit and clearly needs attention. You are pleased. You contemplate if you will do anything different or go standard. You look forward to the appointment. The day arrives. Suddenly your hair looks fucking perfect and you cannot believe you are going to cut it.
  • Exhibit B: You go out to dinner with friends. It is a restaurant you have heard lots about and you are eager to see if it is as good as “everyone” says. The menu reads like something straight out of a distant epicurean heaven and you are starving. You are tempted by several choices. All confer as to what they will choose. You listen and make your decision, confident that you have made the best selection. The last person to order mentions something you had not seen on the menu. It sounds fabulous, but you stick with your choice. The food arrives and as you look at everyone’s plates, suddenly you want only what they are having.
  • Exhibit C: You decide to change jobs. Not really agitated about anything in particular you make the decision to resign. In the coming days/weeks/months of your period of notice, things start to really get annoying. Everything seems to be bothersome. Tedious. Problematic. You begin to show signs of job resentment. The last week arrives. Everyone is lovely. You really enjoy your work. Your clients are so sad to see you go.  Suddenly you are sad to be leaving and are convinced you will never be so well-loved/admired/respected.
  • Exhibit D: You decide to move. After some thought (too much will only retard the situation) you have decided to relocate. You have been getting tired of X, Y, and Z in your current location and they seem to be characteristics that will never go away. Deadly, maybe not. But tedious. So you choose a new place. You tell some people. Some are supportive and others think you are a complete idiot. You observe your surroundings confident that you have made the right choice. The time winds down towards your imminent move. You start looking into the logistics and getting things done. Then the sun comes out and everything right where you are looks beautiful. There is tons of fun to be had. Opportunities you never new existed pop up. Everything about your situation, in situ, seems perfect. Suddenly you wonder if you have made the biggest mistake ever, how could you leave such a perfect place?

I am not sure if this sounds familiar because I am most certainly and definitely projecting here. But I know for sure if I get these feelings the following is true:

– I am dealing with the attendant opportunity cost that comes with any sort of choice.
– The sparkly rainbows and unicorns and hearts and flowers that are smeared all over the rose-colored glasses I don on the eve of any change are only enhancing a part of the view – and they are smeary after all.
– I have definitely made the right choice.

I have learned I should only really worry if I don’t feel all second-guessy. Blind confidence means I am running and that (as you all know) has not served well. Running blind should generally be avoided, I think. And besides, Robert Frost had a point when he contemplated that belaboring the decision is really silly because Though as for that the passing there/Had worn them really about the same and later on it will be part of your story and so you will tell it how you like – not necessarily how it was; you shall be telling this with a sigh/Somewhere ages and ages hence

I mean, face it:

  • You needed that damn haircut and so what if you got lucky one day out the past however many. That is what we call an aberration.
  • Your friend probably ended up with some allergic reaction because in her stealth to order the “thing no one else considered” she forgot to take note that it had shellfish in it and now she is a big old Puffy Face.
  • As soon as you are no longer the cool person who is leaving, know one is going to care about you, so enjoy the fond farewell and hit the road to another job where you can become regular all over again.
  • You could have seen all these things before and you didn’t. Why? Because there was something precluding that. That is why you are moving.

Got angst?

Then you made the right choice.


About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Chasing the Life I was Supposed to Want, Life, Perception, Philosophical Underpinnings, The Future and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to How you know you have made the right choice.

  1. peruadele says:

    When we could let go of the detachments in life, then nothing bothers us anymore, as they lose their power to 🙂

  2. tamara says:

    I have come to believe that the reason everything starts to look rosy in the face of these big decisions – right decisions is simply BECAUSE the decision was right. Our innate happiness is felt, realized and most importantly of all accepted when we make the right decisions – choosing what is right for you and going for it even when, especially when we feel fear and uncertainty. It feels good on the most deepest of levels and when we feel good – truly – our world and everything in it IS good.

    Happy travels Amanda

    • Amanda says:

      I think you are right Tam. Everything does look better when you are right-minded and feeling good…

      I will be out a nd about this week, so let me know what works for you!

  3. Clare A was W says:

    I sent this to a friend who is leaving LA to move back to the UK. She found it extremely comforting. So thank you from her and thank you from me for being able to put in words to her what I could not. I felt exactly like this when I left London for LA and the haircut thing happens every bloody month.

    • Amanda says:

      Aww… That makes me smile!
      And the haircut thing, now what I do is I make my appointment for a day following a day I know I wanna look shit hot. Works every time! 🙂

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