Word to your Mother.

Word(s) to my mother:
strength, bravery, compassion, wisdom, love, support, creativity, generosity, optimism, humor

When I was a young(er) and (more) cantankerous girl, I made a proclamation: I don’t want to have kids. Frankly, I was like 13, so really, in terms of what I “wanted” I did not know shit, but I made the assertion. With vehemence and regularity. When I try to recall the inspirations behind my younger thoughts I am often met with a sort of hazy familiarity that suggests with deeper concentration I could pull myself back to that earlier consciousness, but I think that is probably pretty unlikely. Sometimes I wonder if I was just saying it to be “alternative” or if it was a response to my understanding of what a pain in the ass I might be… or if really, I sort of knew that I was honestly not compelled to breed. Make no mistake, I adore kids. I am constantly blown away by the amazing little people who my friends have created and encouraged and allowed me to be a part of in myriad ways. But try as I might, I can never muster up some sense of absence or lack or an incompleteness when I think about the fact that I do not have my own children.

Perhaps I was a smarter 13-year-old than I thought and I just used the wrong verb, saying ‘want’ when I meant ‘need’. [However, I also do not think that (everyone) has kids because they feel a need or compulsion to do so.] Regardless of my own maternal status, on Mother’s Day I am always very grateful for all the mother’s I know, especially my own.

On Mother’s Day, I remember how lucky I have been to have the mother I do, the grandmother’s I have, and the other mom’s who have been there for me over the years. I look at my friends with immeasurable admiration and love for the wonderful parents they are. I recall the lessons these women have shared with me about all the ways we can be a woman, a mother, a sister, an auntie, whether we have children or not.

Mother’s Day reminds me to grateful, but most of all it makes me very proud to be a woman and somehow a part of this sisterhood without which, we’d have nothing.

Thank you, mom.

I love you.

This is dedicated to my momma, my grandmas, my aunties and, among many others, Marcia J., Carol C., Cynthia, Jill M-K., Rennie, Anna M., Erica P., Mara, Kerry, Adele, Amy Z., Kelly C-W, Joan, Nickie A., and a new generation of moms, my students: Celia C., Danielle W., Tamie T., Liz A., Danielle A., Laura A.


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About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Family, Friends, Holidays, Life, Philosophical Underpinnings and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Word to your Mother.

  1. Joan says:

    My god where did you find this video? hysterical. Aims, I was vehement for MANY years that I would not bear my own children, starting in HS, but reinforced in college when I discovered the socio-economics of population growth, the gross inequities in the world, and the number of children who were thrown away in the world. Over time, the impulse to have my own children changed my mind, and fortunately Michael evolved to the same POV at the same time (he also had been completely uninterested in having kids) – 5 years after we married!
    Loved this post, especially your sentiments on the sisterhood of all women, and the precious gifts we offer the world.

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