A letter, #1

I’ve been meaning to write for sometime now, but really, it is probably best that some time has passed. I just wanted you to know that I am really grateful for the lessons you taught me, I learned much from you, though I am not sure you ever intended that. I love that you taught me that some relationships are like those proverbial ships in the night. That I do not need to stay connected to someone who is my friend in name only (or out of habit. Or worse, friends only for what my friendship has afforded them…) That working so hard to stay friends simply because I tell myself “that is what I do” really is ridiculous.

You showed me all of this so clearly. Granted, you certainly could have done it with a bit more grace and subtlety, but in the end I can let it all go knowing that I was honest and true and that the fact that your honesty and truth did not intersect with mine does not devalue either one of us.

I prefer not to trade in or on the currency of friendship, I imagine this is why I have the sort of friendships (and expectations of friends) that I do. You are much more fluid in your interactions with people – soaking up what you need and moving on. But, you are exactly what you said you were. The fact that it is not what I wanted it to be – or thought it should be – is irrelevant. And since you are not the kind of friend I need in my life, I have the right to let it go… My loyalty and ego do not need to supersede my happiness or comfort in some strange artificial effort to remain friends.

Vaya con dios, amigo.

a x


About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Friends, Letters to Friends, Life, Philosophical Underpinnings, true stories and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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