I need more space.

For real. I am an adaptable human, but I seriously need more space. Coincidentally, WordPress said the same thing to me. And while they offered more space for a small fee, I chose the more fiscally responsible option and set up a new page. It is here. As a new apartment will be for me, I imagine it will seem very familiar, if just a bit… off at first.

Then I went on this huge tangent wishing that it was as easy to get more space in real life as it is on the internet. Which led me, naturally, to Craigslist to obsess over apartment listings. Which is a completely bizarre experience that challenges all of the attitudes about wealth and possessions that I adopted as an untethered expat.

Then all I could think about was being an expat and all the lessons and experience that brought, especially in contrast to what I thought it would mean and subsequently what it has meant.

And then I went and looked at my friends photos from Dubai, London, Porto, Shanghai, Melbourne, Budapest, Jerusalem, Hong Kong… I got a little misty. Or I am tired. Or both.

Then I remembered some of the most hilarious experiences that I endured, which at the time were not all that hilarious – like how I had a Catfish experience before anyone was having Catfish experiences, or how I believed a heroin addict when they told me, well, told me anything. Or how I got absolutely ambushed by a former colleague on a misguided rampage. Or how I thought throwing my watch in the Gulf of Thailand was anything more than simply ruining a perfectly fine piece of chronographic equipment by tossing it into water and rendering it useless. Or how I knew I had to come home when I came home – and not a minute sooner, or later, though I had been talking about it for a long time and knew in my head that it was just another step along the way.

Then for the first time in ages I got curious about some of the people who have populated this digitally remastered past. And I found that the catfish now lives right where I live, the heroin addict is still only honest about his delusions, the former colleague has endured suffering too awful for Greek tragedy, the inspiration to waste the watch is hardly inspiring. The biggest lesson of all is how geography only adds context Рit never takes anything away. This is something I definitely need to remember the next time I go on a Craigslist apartment listing binge.

Change is always a little weird. I guess you just have to take heart in remembering that nothing is permanent.

Or something. See you over here.

Photo on 2012-08-20 at 16.29 #2

About Amanda

I am repatriating expatriate trying to work it all out. Well, to work some of it out anyhow. I am writing here for sanity, focus and general over-sharing.
This entry was posted in Chasing the Life I was Supposed to Want, Home, Lists, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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